Nic turned 30 (A love post set to the tune of Bruno Mars)

It was months ago now, but one day Nic was singing a song that was so ridiculously dumb that I naturally assumed he was making it up on the spot: 

"...I'd catch a grenade for ya, 

Throw my hand on a blade for ya, 

I'd jump in front of a train for ya, 

You know I'd do anything for ya,
I would go through all this pain, 

Take a bullet straight through my brain, 

Yes, I would die for ya, baby,

But you won't do the same..."

I was sure he improvising the lyrics solely for my amusement. We often joke about how "I WILL GO TO THE MOON AND BACK FOR YOU!!!, but no, I don't really want to help you with the dishes right now and you're actually kind of bothering me..."

So seriously? Throw my hand on a blade for ya? It took a lot of explaining on Nic's end to convince me that he was singing an actual song. 

But come on, people. What good is anyone going to be after he dies for me by jumping in front of a stupid train for no apparent reason other than to profess his boundless love? We are 30 years old with jobs, a mortgage, a kid, and a bunch or overweight animals. I don't need anyone with a bullet in his brain, I need someone to pick up a gallon of milk. No, for realsies Nic, we're out of milk. Will you grab some on your way home?

My version of a real love song would be more like this:

 

"I'd turn a giant cardboard box into a 'tunnel house' and color all over it with Norah for ya" 

"I'd take your daughter to the park and stand on one leg like a goose for ya"

"I'd take you on exciting adventures and swim in Deer Creek with Norah and then wrap her up in my shirt because you forgot a towel for ya"

 

And that's just from this weekend. Add to that, like, a million more verses with stuff like "I'd work ridiculously hard each and every day for ya," "I'd go to the grocery store while you nap on a Sunday for ya," "I'd drive to the gas station to get a pint of Ben & Jerry's at ungodly hours for ya," "I'd make a table from the overly simplistic plans you found on Pinterest for ya," and on and on and on. No going to the moon, no grenade catching, just a lot of love and support from my bestest friend. And did I mention that he's 30 now? He totally is and he's totally not happy about it. But I couldn't be happier with this old man.