Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Among the living

So here it is, almost March, and I've only posted once this month. I haven't been sure what I've wanted to say--but I know I want to say something. It's just a really tender time.

Here's the thing: My mom has cancer.

Doesn't that sound profane? I feel like if it has to be said out loud, it should only be whispered. And, no, she's not dying of cancer and I know it could be worse, but this is my mom. My mom.

My mom isn't supposed to have to go through procedures and surgeries and chemotherapy. Do I really need to explain to the universe that, sorry, you've got the wrong lady--Erin's mom is unavailable for that right now?

But here we are. And for those of you who don't know the story, here's the condensed version:

My mom went in for a colonoscopy and they found a polyp. The polyp was removed and tested and turned out to be cancerous. Then she had surgery to remove the part of her colon where they had found the polyp. Out of the 27 lymph nodes they removed in the surgery, one of them had a tiny, teeny, minuscule amount of cancer. So that means chemotherapy. She's now home from the hospital, recovering from her surgery, and awaiting the next steps.

Sorry for blogging about your insides, Mom.

Again, it could be much worse. It could be too late for any of this. So in the grand scheme of things, everything is fine. It's just that she's my mom.

And then want to know something that completely blew my mind? I'm a mom. That person that my mom is to me, I'm that to someone else. Talk about a holy shit moment. So, yes, I've been a little pensive and a little overwhelmed and a little unsure of what I even have to say.

The best that I can come up with right now is this: I'm incredibly blessed to have a mom who has always been a mom to me. Everything that a mom should be, she is--and I know that not everyone is lucky enough to have that. Now if I can do the same for Norah, we win. Even with all the messiness and heartache and cancer that life brings, we win.

I guess that's what I have to say.

And on a lighter note: Nic and Norah are going to Hawaii with me on Friday. The warm weather should do us good.

4 comments:

Alissa Rae King said...

Your mother raised another great mom. This is well written and heartbreaking. The cycle of love and support that is going to happen now is made possible by how awesome your mom truly is and what she has created around her. Please give her our LOVE and take a little for yourself because this pretty much sucks for everybody. Love. Love. Love headed your way. Lissa

Julia M. said...

Your mom is someone I want to be like, too. I sure hope everything goes well. I send my love, too. Lots of it!

Paige said...

God bless your family, Erin. We'll pray for the best.

Stefanie said...

Erin I'm so sorry. I hope she'll recover quickly. Don't even know what to say to make you feel better :( (I know how it is to have to just say something just to say it. It sort of feels better in a weird way)