Grandpa Blaine

My Grandpa Blaine passed away recently.

At the funeral, my dad said something that kind of sums everything up for me. Having thought about "success" a lot in his life, when my dad thinks of someone who is truly successful, he thinks of Blaine. He was a man who radiated love and joy. He was slow to anger and quick to do good. He was patient and kind. He meant a lot to me, and the tears that have come since his passing don't come from sadness but from knowing how much I will miss him.

He made me feel special each time I saw him. As it all played out and cousins, aunts, uncles, and family shared their feelings on Facebook, on their own blogs, at the funeral, and since, I've been reminded of how Blaine had this effect on everyone in his life. Each one of us knew how much our grandpa loved us. We all felt special. Talk about success, right?

At the funeral, I leaned in to ask my Granny Gen how she was doing, and she asked me, "What do you do when you turn over and there's no one there?" Besides breaking my heart, she also reminded me of how I felt when my Grandpa Brinkerhoff passed away. Sometimes I feel like life is so full of pain and heartbreak that I just can't bear it. But each day I'm reminded of how amazingly full my life is. The loss of such an amazing person reminds me how precious time is. It makes me squeeze Norah a little tighter and be more consciously grateful to have Nic by my side. It reminds me to keep working toward true success and to not care about anything else.

I miss my grandpa. I miss his smile, his love, and his hotcakes. But how lucky am I to have a lifetime full of memories to smile about?

Here's my mom and I on the day of the funeral in Fielding in front of the old rock house where my grandpa grew up. It's a short drive from the cemetery where he's now buried. Being there was a cathartic way for the day to come full circle.